The most difficult part of unwellness (long-term fibromyalgia) is no longer feeling useful, even encountering a damper of worthlessness.
I’m also still in limbo with this crabby tummy. One test leads to two more, but so slowly. A couple of tests were clear, so the medical people haven’t located the culprit. Two more coming up, but only one scheduled (gastro). Waiting for the cardio folks.
So I don’t lose more weight, I’m to eat what soft foods I can tolerate, with Pepto Bismol for dessert. When things get too rough, it’s liquids again.
And should I begin another book? I’ve had no nudges to work on a memoir, although I might be old enough. What about a collection of my old stories published during the 1990s in newspapers and magazines while I was learning to write? Maybe call it The Spider in the Choir Loft and Other Stories.
I’m not a moody matriarch, but one day last week was about as discouraged as this optimist gets. I needed five naps. Yes, five. And that same day, while slogging “the loop” (10 blocks, including a hill), my leg muscles seized up five times. I had to stop and calm things down. Five times. My Favorite Guy wanted to go out to lunch, but I didn’t feel well enough to eat anything, or even keep him company while he enjoyed eating out.
The very next morning, in God’s perfect timing, I received a welcome text. And with it, the expectation of experiencing usefulness again. What a blessing!
Naps that day? My “normal” three. (To calm down fibromyalgia pain and exhaustion–I’ve made peace with it.) Loop hiking seize-ups? None on the early trek, only one the second time. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
I’m so grateful for hope in the middle of this unwellness.
#aginggratefully
Sending love, prayers and healing thoughts to you, my friend. I hope answers are forthcoming…know that you are loved! ❤️❤️❤️
Bless you, Vicki.
❤️❤️❤️
I vote for a new book!!
Gee, thanks, GP!
I would share some of your pain, Joy, if I could. Many of your readers would do the same. You continue to be an inspiration. Many of us are prayerful. You could not have a better man than Guy for support. Love
It’s easier not to talk about it, but there are others who slog through similar miseries. They’re not along! Yes, for my Favorite Guy!
God is not done with you yet. Remember Job. I am truly sorry you are suffering, but even in your pain you bring others so much joy and hope. Guy needs you. I need you. Many, many others need you. You are a treasure. Keep sharing and we will keep eating. -Dave
Bless you, Dave. I just got a note from a woman who deals with her own struggles, thanking me for being transparent. We do need to hear from life’s sufferers, don’t we!
God is not done with you yet. Remember Job.
Besides, I am not ready for you to give in to the rocking chair. Guy needs you. I need you. The world needs you. But I am truly sorry you are sufferin
Thank you for reminders!
I’m sending you healing vibes~~~~
I have enjoyed your books so much. I am eager to get to Des Moines to hit Beaverdale Books for an autographed copy of your latest book. (I am in eastern Iowa.)
I would vote for another book!
Thank you, Kelly! Beaverdale Books ships books nearly every day. 515-279-5400
Yours is the second vote for another book!
“#aginggratefully,” love that and hope the gastro troubles get completely resolved soon.
Thank you, Bob.
Wishing you blessings in the midst of all of this. God is ever-faithful and He does hear our every prayer. I am praying for your health, and also for discernment in your writing. Whatever you choose, I know it will be wonderful!
Bless you, Linda. I enjoyed your pink clouds post yesterday but it wouldn’t allow me to comment. hmmm
Aches and pains and waiting for test results, it seems as if that’s what life is for those of us of a certain age. If it’s not for yourself, the worries about our spouse are sufficient to take some of the joy out of living.
I pray you’ll get the answers you need soon, Joy, and that you’ll have some relief from the ailments that beset you and Guy. I do hope that you’ll work on another book, for regardless of your present infirmities, you are a woman of great value and have much yet to contribute to the world. And I’ll be first in line to buy the book.
Finally, as I said to one of my golfing buddies yesterday over a brat & beer, the prospect and assurance of heaven is a sweet comfort amidst the trials of the day. Heaven will be magnificent, so much to see and do, all without sin, sorrow or suffering.
You are a great blessing to me, Just Bob. You’ll also probably be the one who writes the first review! I’m still basking in the beautiful one you wrote for Meadowlark Songs. Yes, a yearning for heaven is part of this stage of life, isn’t it! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
I’m hoping they find out the problem and you get some relief. Got you in my daily prayers, now.
Thank you for those prayers, John. Yes, I’m hoping it’s something “fixable.”
I appreciate your honesty, Joy. When our health gets in the way of what we want to do, it can be very discouraging. I’m praying the doctors can find some answers and get you some relief.
Write another book? Of course, you have to make that decision. Speaking for myself, when I’m extra motivated to do something, that’s the spark that gets me going. One example for me is exercise. Some days I’m just not feeling it. Then, I think of my grandson, and not being able to enjoy watching him grow up, and that thought gets me going.
Pete, you mentioned honesty. I guess that’s what I’ve been avoiding, huh. Yes, that grandson. If I write another book, it’ll also be dedicated to Kate, now age 8. Guess I’d better get busy at it, huh! Thanks, Pete!
Having company on the fibro journey doesn’t make it any easier, I know, Joy, but know that I’m here. I know that some days, 5 naps may not be enough. I know that being ill and not knowing what’s wrong is horrible. I know the prayer works. I know that trusting God is sometimes really hard, but faith in Him brings real comfort. I know that you know all this. Rely on Him to give you strength for this long trial. You’re in my prayers daily, my friend. 🙏🙏❤️🇨🇦
Short story collection, letters, those sound like an ideal book for right now. A bit at a time …
Thank you, Gail. I’ve lived with fibro so long that it feels “normal” these days. I’ve made peace with it at any rate. I journal prayers every morning and they’re part of every nap, but they’re usually for someone else.
I get that about fibro, but it’s all the other stuff you’re dealing with that isn’t normal. Uncertainty is the hard part.
Amen
I always enjoy your vintage family stories. Hope you are feeling much better very soon.
Thanks so much, Linda!
I’m so sorry you have so many health challenges right now, Joy. I’ve been including you in my prayers along with several other bloggers with ailments. I certainly hope you feel better soon and are able to delve into another book! 🙂
The welcome text will allow me to work on someone else’s manuscript!
Hope you’re feeling better Joy. And as far as the book goes, I’d look to what gives you joy and hope!!! Sending prayers and best wishes your way.
Thanks, Brian!
Praying for you, dear Joy. Our daughter has had fibro for few years now, and we’re familiar with how it can disrupt a person’s life.
The cute one who looks like her dad? Bummer. She’s so young. I was 56 when it “hit,” my favorite decade. God has other plans. I so wanted to be useful to him, but I felt him smile that he didn’t need my help, that he just loved me. He knows the numbers of hairs on my head, how many days I have on earth. He even counts the stars and knows them by name! I resented fibro for years but have finally made peace with it, even looking forward to the naps because I’ll have a couple of “normal” hours afterwards. May your daughter notice God’s blessings, of all sizes, around her even in her pain and exhaustion.
I hope and pray the medical people can help you, Joy, for you are wonderful. 💖🙏
Bless you, Tim!
On the days when I am on top of things, I cheer… On the days when I have to pull a knit cap over my eyes, and allow sleep consciousness to take me away, I cheer that it worked! Peace be with you through it all. <3
I’m never on top of things because of the fibromyalgia, but I’ve made peace with that part! Sleep is the best, isn’t it! Thank you, Annette.
I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through, Joy. But I hope you get some answers soon. When our health begins to interrupt our abilities to do what’s been natural, it’s easy to feel discouraged. I’ve been there – not to the same degree – but I’ve been there. So, if a book would keep you busy and feeling better mentally, then it would be a good thing for you to do. If not, you need to find what that ‘something’ would be to keep hope alive. I’ll keep you in my prayers and positive thoughts. Sending comforting hugs too. 💕
Thanks so much, Lauren!
My pleasure, Joy. ❤️
My heart goes out to you, Joy. I hope the docs are able to find a cause and treatment for your tummy troubles. As for your worthlessness thought, please give it no credence. Your Leora books have done an invaluable service for your family, your state, and our country. I will always be grateful to have read them.
Bless you, Liz. More tests tomorrow!
I’ve had my share of digestive issues, so I can empathize! Mine however, turned out not to be Crohns but responded to a lot of pro/prebiotics but I still watch what I eat. As a vegan, it appears that you CAN eat too many lentils and quinoa :(. My body rebelled so I eat them less often and that seems to work.