Do not expect your wife to know what you’re thinking. Be specific with your goal. You might be a whiz at problem solving, but she’ll kick your butt in multi-tasking all day long. I have learned that it is less lethal to share a plan with your wife. This way you can both say “Would’ve, Could’ve and Should’ve,” rather than you blaming her when your plan fails. Nothing turns anger into regret faster than a cursing tongue. If you mess up, she will undoubtedly go back to the house, leaving you alone to realize that you are now the weakest link in the chain of command.

When giving directions to your wife, don’t be overly specific with details. Most of the time a man’s old fashion backwoods rural redneck directions don’t fit a woman’s gene map. When giving your wife directions to where she can find you in the field, try to avoid the four cardinal directions: North, South, East and West. Do not use landmarks that no longer exist or locations where events happened before you met her. A woman’s temperature rises dramatically when she’s lost. If she has to continually ask you “Which way’s East?,” she will undoubtedly go back to the house, leaving you alone to realize that it’s the same distance whether you drive or walk; it just takes a little longer if you have to walk.

A man has a limited number of sorrys he can use in his lifetime, so he should use them wisely. I’m quite certain my wife keeps a tally.

Rick Friday

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Here’s couple more Rick Friday stories.